NA SNOW WHITE THERON

Snow White and The Huntsman: The Nerd Appropriate Review

As the title indicates, this movie has a main plot line involving both Snow White and the dubious Huntsman. However, the real star of this movie is the queen. Charlize Theron embodies all that is wicked, but in a sympathetic and majestic way. Her beauty and talent for making you believe- more than that, understand why she is so evil really carries this film.

"Overall, the set design and costumes were amazing – I long for a cape of raven feathers!"

The setting was also fantastic with wide, sweeping shots of jagged mountainous terrain (complete with Celtic-inspired music – yay!), gardens of vibrant flora and deathly forests with poisonous gases. Overall, the set design and costumes were amazing – I long for a cape of raven feathers!

Even the fabled dwarves make an appearance, not in a Disney way, but in a story about redemption and sacrifice. They serve to help Snow realize her purpose which is to bring life back to a scarred and ravaged world. You’ll recognize a few familiar faces in the dwarven bunch and to me they add a lot of warmth and depth to the story.

Basically, there is a lot right with this movie, but as expected, a few things fell flat. I’m not going to detail plot issues that didn’t work for me, just know that they are there. There is a failed attempt at a love triangle, for example, that could have been eliminated with the exception of perhaps setting up for a sequel. Also, come on, Studio Executives, Kristen Stewart IS Bella from Twilight. The same lip-biting, looking away in a heated moment and awkward exhale permeates this movie like lingering illness. And come on. Let’s get real for a second. Is there any way that Bell–er Kristen Stewart in any universe could be fairer than Charlize?

"The same lip-biting, looking away in a heated moment and awkward exhale permeates this movie like lingering illness."

Perhaps with a different actress as Snow White, I’d be able to overlook some plot disagreements and give this move a 10 of 10, but that’s not what I experienced. I found myself eavesdropping on a conversation my neighbor was having about hiding her Match.com subscription from her husband every time Stewart came on-screen. Charlize, however, ripped away my wandering attention, held onto it with her claw-like fingers and forced me back into the movie. Because of that, I hereby give Snow White & The Huntsman 8.5 tequila shots.

Writer. Snowboarder. Video game proselytizer. All-around nerd and animal lover. During the day, you can find Hilary working as a marketing director for an international software company and at night (where is this going?), she squeezes in as much time as possible with her Xbox or Kindle. If you feel so inclined from reading this awkward description to find out more about her, go here: www.hilaryshapiro.com or @hilaryheskett  Oh, and she is Gunny from Crabcat!

Hilary

Writer. Snowboarder. Video game proselytizer. During the day, you can find Hilary working as a marketing director for an international software company and at night (where is this going?), she squeezes in as much time as possible with her Xbox or Kindle. Start a conversation @hilaryheskett!
  • Ash

    I went and saw this over the weekend and noticed a lot of the same problems.  While the movie looked fantastic, I never sensed any sort of chemistry between Snow and the Huntsman.  It seemed as though both actors probably would have wanted to be anyplace else on Earth.  Also, there was a scene where the Our Father prayer is read aloud…there is a lot wrong with that for a ton of reasons.  Sooo wait… Jesus was creeping around the forest with the dwarves, ogres, and wood sprites?

    • Yeah, the “Our Father” bit was a little weird. Obviously Catholicism / Christianity extends to multiple worlds…

  • mattna

    We’re rating in tequila shots now? This is going to make me rethink Max Payne.

    • Yes, I established this new rating system in the “Woman In Black” post. Way to not read my contributions, Matt. 😉 

  • I heard that there wasn’t a ton of dialog in this movie as well, but it looked good visually. Maybe that makes it a “rent” ?

    • The action scenes and beautiful cinematic elements make it a good “in theatre” film, IMO. Rent is good too if you have a prime set-up at home.