Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon was released by Ubisoft on May 1, 2013 and offers a nostalgic power slide through the best and worst clichés of action movies and video games from 80s and 90s.

In a world where nothing is the same and everything is different, the wasteland of North America is under threat from the red menace and Canada has been obliterated by a precision nuclear strike. Cyber-commando and proud American hero Sergeant Rex Power Colt is the only one left can stop Omega Force as they threaten to undermine the sanctity of the stars and stripes. Will he make it?

Blood Dragon utilizes the same first-person shooter game mechanics feature in Far Cry 3, lending the high quality open-world freedom of the original game – but with more lasers, cyber soldiers, and dinosaurs bent on eating them (fine, dragons). Power guitar riffs and hair metal feature heavily in the stand-alone expansion DLC, and cut scenes feature stylized pixel panels, heavy on the kitsch. Dialogue and voice acting are spot on cringe-worthy, offering tongue-in cheek commentary and self-aware mockery from the get go.

If you enjoyed the gameplay of Far Cry 3, and are looking for gratuitous language, explosions, cyber-all-the-things, and are hankering for the hilarity that nostalgic parody can bring, this DLC is for you. It’s ridiculous and absurd, but had me laughing more often than not. Or groaning.

Oh, and don’t forget your D20. You’re gonna need it.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, a pair of blue-collar janitors battled Imperial grime, with only a sonic mop and a bottle of glass cleaner to see them through! And as of April 2, Canadian-based Space Janitors started their second season of sci-fi comedy, bringing us back in the fight to find our anti-heroes still alive.

Needless to say, if you’re a fan of Star Wars, this is a web series you should have your eye on. It follows Mike Chet (Pat Thornton) and Darby Richards (Brendan Halloran), two janitors aboard a massive space station, and their friends, computer psychologist Edith Kingpin (Evany Rosen), android LN6-K (Tess Degenstein), and Dennis (Scott Yamamura), one of the 10,000 identical, cloned squall troopers aboard the station.

The short episodes follow their hi-jinks aboard the station, an every-man amidst the war, and are rife with deadpan nerd humour. Hat tips to a variety of sci-fi shows and genres are found in each episode, which run 4-8 minutes each Set and costume design are endearingly campy, and comedic delivery is spot-on, which may be unsurprising given the background in comedy both the creators (Davin Lengyel and Geoff Lapaire) and actors themselves have. Imagine my delight at a cameo from Chris Gibbs in Season 1, an actor and improviser who has toured the Canadian Fringe Festival circuit and is on my ‘go to’ list for comedy whenever he’s in my home city.

While I might have a soft spot for home-grown humour, this Canuck would recommend Space Janitors to any sci-fi savy serah looking for a laugh. I was hooked from the get-go.

Season 1 is available on Geek and Sundry, or on their website at SpaceJanitors.com. Season 2 started on April 2, and episodes posted every 2^nd Tuesday. Check out S1E1 below!

Hello!

I am writing to you with very exciting news. I’m very nervous and

joyed to share that I am making my first album! This album is filled

of heart felt songs; some of which you know (Tonight, Song for Ulvaak)

and some songs never shared with the public.

Please help me make this album by donating to my fundraiser.

There are lots of donations for every amount you donate including t-shirts,

posters, original art, cover songs of your choice, original songs, house shows

and more.

I am so appreciative that you have already supported my music, and would be

so completely gracious of any extra help you are willing to give me.

You can find the campaign here: http://igg.me/p/225088?a=928086

And see Nora’s reaction to her story

FYI – I really miss “Cartoon Day”…

Ingredients

2 LBS of London Broil – sliced thin with fat removed (due to the extinction of the Rachni)

2 Tablespoons of onion powder

4 TSP of black pepper

1 teaspoon of Sriracha

1/2 Cup of brown sugar

1 1/2 cups of soy sauce 

1/2 cup teriyaki sauce

1/2 cup Worcestershire sauce

2/3 cup balsamic vinegar

5 tablespoons of liquid smoke

4 tablespoons of red pepper

Step 1 – Slice the Meat -  I’ve learned that the key to good jerky is very little fat due to the fact that fat retains water.  After playing with a number of different meat types (mind out of the gutter), I discovered that London Broil is the best cut to use for lean, long lasting, Rachni Jerky. LB is relatively inexpensive, and depending on the region of the world you live in, will only cost you $10.00 for about 2 LBS.  If you’re nice to your local butcher, he’ll more than likely cut the meat for you. Just say that you want your meat “thinly sliced for jerky” and he’ll know what to do.

Step 2 – Combine the wets - Combine your soy sauce, teriyaki sauce, worsh, balsamic vinegar, Sriracha, and brown sugar in a small sauce pan and simmer it for about 15 minutes.  The object the simmering is to completely dissolve the brown sugar so that no crystals remain.  If you DO end up with brown sugar crystals simply abandon them during the next step.  The crystals won’t mind.

Step 3 – Combine the drys - Combine your onion powder, black pepper, & red pepper in a large bowl or lidded container.  In a few minutes you’ll be adding your meat and sauce to this mixture, so make sure you have enough room.

Step 4- Combine your wets and your drys -  Pour your liquid mixture into your dry mixture and stir for a bit until the two become one.  Again, make sure that you’re leaving enough room for your meat… otherwise you’ll have to pour all of your ingredients into another bowl, and that’s just a big waste of time.

Step 5 – Add that meat – Make sure your meat is all roughly the same thickness.  If your butcher rushed the job, you may have ended up with different cuts of meat, which in turn leads to different different dehydration times.  Also, be sure to remove the excess fat from your meat as your food dehydrator has a hard time sucking the moisture out of a fatty piece of meat.  If you by chance have a Vorcha around the house, grilled Rachni fat makes for a great snack!  Step 6 – Wait - Now that your meat, wet, and dry are combined, seal them away to marinate for about 12-24 hours. While you may be tempted to jump the gun and start the dehydration process, marination is the most important step to tasty jerky.  I typically let the meat marinate for about 24 hours… Patience.

Step 7 – Dry that meat – After 24 hours, remove your marinated meat from the container and place it onto some paper towels to absorb excess moisture.  You may be tempted to put the wet meat into your dehydrator (because logic tells you that extra marinade will make your jerky taste better), but this is not the case.  After 24 hours all of that marinade is INSIDE your meat.  Let those paper towels soak up the excess juice and then place the meat onto the racks of your dehydration unit.

Step 7 – Dehydration – This will undoubtedly take some experimentation so I don’t recommend leaving your jerky unattended for more than a few hours.  Place your marinated meat onto the racks of your food dehydrator so that air can flow freely between the slices.  Using the Nesco Food Dehydrator & Jerky Maker set to 160 Degrees it typically takes Rachni jerky between three and four hours to fully dehydrate.  After about two hours feel free to check on your jerky in order to make sure that it’s not over done.  Your jerky should still be pliable and should not crack when bent.  Again, if you use a different food dehydrator, or want to try the advanced fan method, it may take a bit longer.

Step 8 – Eat for Tuchanka – When your batch is complete, the Rachni Jerky should last you quite a while and will give you the needed energy to battle those pesky Reapers!  Okay, in reality I’ve been a beef jerky fan since I was a little kid and I’ve been making my own jerky for a little over three years.  I’m proud to say that Rachni jerky is a recipe that I’ve created after sampling a few dozen jerky recipes from all around the galaxy.  I sure hope you enjoy.

This faux intro to The Walking Dead had me thinking, “How would the Seaver family fare during the zombie apocalypse?” Well I think Maggie and Dr. Jason would be just fine. They’re just too normal and nurturing to let a zombie outbreak really bother them. Mike would probably rebel and join up with some anti-government biker gang, and Ben and Carol would probably become zombie dinner. Unfortunately the cast has become quite political in recent years so I don’t see them giving us the parody we’re all waiting for.

Baby Rain or Shine… It’s Twitter Time

Fast forward to the end of 2011, DiRT 3 goes on super sale at a local retailer for $10, and I need something to grease the grinding wheels of SWTOR. This game is actually pretty good, good enough that it’s worth talking about so many months after the game’s release… and you know what? This is a blog built around sharing our nerdy pursuits, and [Cartman voice] we’ll do what we want [/Cartman voice]. We always inevitably play catch up with all of the games missed in 2011, so I’m playing down my stack earlier this year. So indulge my mini-review, and feel free to tell us about what you do in your non-SWTOR/Skyrim time in the comments below.

What it’s all about

I think if I ever made crazy money (like whoever invented those “family” decals people put on the back windshield of their automobiles) I’d try my hand at rally car racing. And if this game is any estimation of my abilities I’d be terrible at it, but I’d be filthy rich, so it wouldn’t stop me. DiRT 3 is all about off-road racing… but not all of the races are off road. You’ll race in rally style races, head-to-head matches, and more traditional races in a variety of locations, terrains, and weather conditions. The most notable addition to DiRT 3 is the inclusion of Gymkhana which is sort of a tricks and skills course. You race against the clock, while performing various tricks at locations throughout the course: doughnuts, spinning, jumping, drifting… ok really most of these things are drifting-based with the exception of the jumping, but it still makes for a fun experience. Of course, you can just hit the course and dick around, it’s fun. Rounding out the experience are the various automobiles from multiple decades and a spirited online mode.

Let me reiterate something from the previous DiRT 2 review… Europeans do not mess around in online racing. I can only assume that most of these dudes (and ladies) have a racing wheel setup strapped to a desk or something and just kill it 24/7 in online modes. Stay away from the chat, run your own line, understand that you’ll probably never win a race, and you’ll find a way to have fun.

Look at this awesome race… it will cost you $10

What’s not so great about this game is the [butthead voice] penetration [/butthead voice] of DLC advertising. Upon signing into the game a news bar fills up the lower third telling you about a new car pack, or a new race location that is “now available”. Look, it’s 2012, and while “now available” is still technically correct, what they really should be saying is “newly discounted”… get the point? Almost every race schedule in the menu ends with a race that is unlocked with the purchase of a track pack. Want to pick a car for that next race? Well you can pick from the 4 you currently have unlocked, pay to unlock the remaining (as opposed to leveling) or buy a car pack with another set of cars. I think you get the picture. It’s a bit overwhelming. I believe at last calculation purchasing all of the additional content would set you back around $30, which is, like, GoW level DLC, and this game is not GoW. The DLC thing is too bad, considering how excellent all of the course environments are to look at, seriously, the game looks great.

More of what you want, less of what you don’t

Or what I don’t want, at least: I’m talking about the “extreme” culture. I think this X-Sports-esque styling of games is overplayed. “Hey bro, show us what you’ve got, and you’ll bust into the elite ranks in no time.” “Radical.” (do people still say radical?) After seeing it in Tony Hawk, Skate, SSX, DiRT 2, Shawn White Snowboarding (yeah, I had a Wii Balance Board, wanna fight about it?!) I’m pretty much over it. Also a welcome disappearance are licensed audio tracks. Look I like Yellowcard as much as the next guy (assuming the next guy doesn’t like Yellowcard… at all.) but I don’t need to hear Ocean Avenue played over and over again while I’m trying to race. Remember when you could play your own music while playing an Xbox 360 game? Oh, that’s right, you can still do that.

Conversely, DiRT 3 takes most of this nonsense way and gets you right into the game. [sidebar: I once knew a professional Madden NFL player, who, when asked what game mode he played the most he replied, the only thing I want to Play is "Now". Well stated, my friend.] There are two British people who talk you through the game’s menus in some semblance of a story, but you never actually see them, and there are no avatars to interact with. Or, maybe they’re Australian, I’m really bad with accents. When you get to the Gymkhana parts, some guy, who I’m assuming is a hero in the sport, does a C+ VO job in getting you acclimated to the events. And, that’s another reason why the “extreme sports narrative” is overplayed… athletes ≠ voice actors. (See also, EA Sports MMA)

Power in the details

What is great about this game is that you can customize your car… and by customize I mean “set up” to suit your driving style and the conditions of the track. And the game doesn’t waste your time with money and purchasing “parts”, you just set the car up before the race… and you aren’t bothered with spending hours tricking out your car with fins, rims, carbon fiber parts and decals (I’m looking at you NFS). Complimentary to this are the number of modifications you can make to the race difficultly. I belabored the broken system of racing game difficultly in the DiRT 2 review, so it suffices to say here that you can adjust the difficulty of the CPU, as well as the assists on your car. I’m not looking to cheat myself here, I just want to be moderately challenged and have fun while my SWTOR companions are scavenging grade 4 compounds (about 22 minutes per bountiful yield, PS).

Finally, this game has a serviceable YouTube connection built into the replay function. I don’t claim to be great at this game, I’m actually pretty average at it, but somehow the DiRT 3 replay system does a great job of making me look good. I created a couple of videos so you get the idea, it’s just fun… there’s a theme here. You can upload videos that are around a minute in length (I believe) and it takes a few minutes to get it all uploaded… but again, that’s enough time to start crafting some Grade 4 Beam Generators for your starship and Level 13 Skill Mods for your custom armor.

So yeah, it’s an “older” game, but that’s how I roll. I seem to remember an $8 BulletStorm (“epic” edition, right?) sale that also occurred this past month, I don’t’ hear anyone complaining. What do you do to break up the RPG time? For me, it’s a spirited jaunt through the snow and mud. We’re all just trying to have a good time, man.

Happy Gaming.

Bioware: For Bioware fans there were a ton of stellar costumes on display including the hulking animatronic Wrex.  Holly Conrad (interview here) sported a new suit of  Mass Effect 3 renegade Shepard armor and did a great job at bringing the funny with some dry humor.  From Gears of War to Pokemon there were over 50 costumes on display.  Crabcat member and new Bioware Community Manager Jessica Merizan did was entertaining on the Mic and will no doubt be a very solid  CM.

 No matter how old you are dressing up in crazy costumes will always be a ton of fun .

Source Wikipedia (so it has to be true) The Mole Man was originally Harvey Rupert Elder, an American nuclear engineer and explorer. Elder was socially shunned due to a combination of his abrasive personality and his homely, dwarfish appearance. Furthermore, his fellow explorers ridiculed him for his eccentric, crackpot theories regarding a Hollow Earth. In 1956, while following the group of explorers called the Monster Hunters, he stumbled upon Monster Island, which was at the time a base of the Deviant Warlord Kro (at the time, Monster Island was located near Japan, although other stories place it in the Bermuda Triangle; some issues of X-Men have portrayed them as two distinct separate locations).

When Elder fell into a massive cave leading deep into the underground realm of Subterranea, he decided his theories had finally been vindicated. However, he suffered permanent damage to his eyes when he gazed directly upon a highly reflective deposit of diamonds. Partially blind and apparently secluded from the surface world forever, Elder dubbed himself the Mole Man and began exploring his new home. He eventually became the ruler of the branch of Subterraneans now known as the Moloids, and the ruler of much of Subterranea and the caverns of Monster Isle. He used the Deviant-derived creatures and technology that he found in Subterranea to strike back at the outer world in numerous attempts to rule or humble the world that had rejected him.

The Mole Man conducted attacks on the surface world by destroying power plants until he was opposed by the Fantastic Four in their first adventure on Monster Isle. The Mole Man apparently destroyed Monster Isle in an atomic blast, although it was seen on several other occasions.^[1] The Mole Man’s Deviant-bred monstrous mutates, collectively known as the “Mole Man’s Monsters”, include the three-headed Tricephalous, the horned Megataur, and the flying bird-insect creature known only as “Skreeal“. The Mole Man also has a group of superhuman allies called the Outcasts.

The Mole Man later stole buildings from New York City, but was thwarted by the Fantastic Four and apparently killed.^[2] With the Red Ghost, he next battled the Avengers and tried to use a machine that caused earthquakes to take over the world, however Giant-Man shrunk down to ant-size and sabotaged the machine.^[3] Mole Man was among the criminals later assembled by Doctor Doom to attack Reed and Sue’s wedding.^[4] Mole Man then fought a war against Tyrannus.^[5] Mole Man used the original X-Men as pawns in his war against Tyrannus.^[6] The Mole Man later trapped the Fantastic Four in a house that blinded them.^[7] Mole Man continued to fight a war with Tyrannus.^[8]

He later teamed with Kala, the queen of the Subterranean Netherworlders, and fell in love with Kala. He plotted to destroy the surface world, but was betrayed by Kala and Tyrannus.^[9]Some time later, Mole Man and Kala were betrothed to be married. Namor, the Atlantean prince, helped out the Moloids when a conquering force was slaughtering many while using them for slave labor.

Much later, Mole Man befriended the Thing and then plotted to raise a new continent at the cost of sinking California, but was again thwarted by the Fantastic Four.^[10] He was captured by Lava Men later.^[11] Mole Man then attempted to bring peace to Subterranea, but was attacked by Fantastic Four clones.^[12] He contended with Skrulls, and tried unsuccessfully to capture a Skrull technotroid egg.^[13]

Mole Man later allied with Grotesk and Tyrannus against Deviants led by Brutus. He aided the Hulk in fighting Brutus’s Deviants. Together with his allies, he triumphed over Brutus, and welcomed back Kala as his consort.^[14]

Mole Man became involved with the West Coast Avengers when one of his monsters attacked Los Angeles. His Moloids were caught in the middle of a Skrull revenge scheme on the Fantastic Four. A replacement Fantastic Four, consisting of Spider-Man, Ghost Rider, the Hulk and Wolverine were tricked into entering the Mole Man’s territory and battling his forces.

He later battled the West Coast Avengers along with the U-Foes during the Acts of Vengeance, but their attempts met with failure.

Being stuck in transit for about an hour every day means we’re always on the lookout for a new podcast. Sure, we’ve had lists in the past of some of the podcasts we enjoy, but it’s been a few months since we’ve added anything new. You may know Aisha Tyler from Talk Soup, or perhaps her stand up comedy, but did you know Aisha is a big time nerd?  The latest episode of her podcast “Girl on Guy”  (careful when you Google that) features Chuck’s Zachary Levi and contains just about as much nerdery as one of our OWN podcasts… and that’s really saying something.  If you’re looking for a damn funny podcast with a sweet injection of nerd-culture then do yourself a favor and check out Girl on Guy! It’s only on its 6th episode so you can still feel like you were one of its original fans before it blows up… which it will.  Check out the latest episode HERE.

Community on NBC

We love all sorts of stuff here at NA; explosions, robots, loud music, and laughter. I would venture to say that as a group NBC’s Community is our favorite half hour comedy. The cast of Community made their first appearance at last year’s Comic-Con, and were totally hilarious (it was seriously funny guys). When I learned that Community was returning to Comic-Con 2011 I made sure that I was there no matter what. Here is a little video I slapped together of the intro video, followed by some pretty hilarious singing by Gillian Jacobs, Joel McHale, and Donald Glover. I really hope this show stays on the air because it’s seriously the most innovative comedy in recent years. Alison Brie was not in attendance.

Like the Sudan, the internet can be a cruel and terrible place. Team Unicorn does their best to sprinkle a bit of unicorn magic on the internet to make the world a better, and nerdier, place.  This time around Team Unicorn brings us a fun/fake trailer for the movie Alien Beach Crashers. Directed by Sean Becker (The Guild) and starring Team Unicorn with Chuck’s Zachary Levi, Alien Beach Crashers is a modern take on the beach-party films of old… only with more explosions and body chunks.  Take a look at their latest video and support our fellow creative nerds!  Oh yeah, if you’re curious about Team Unicorn, we ran ran an interview with them earlier this year that will get you all caught up.  Simply click HERE to educate yourself!

1. The nerdist podcast. The nerdist podcast needs to be part of your life. Chirs Hardwick has always embraced popular nerd culture with wide open arms. Because Hardwick has been around for so long, he manages to get some of the best “nerdy” guests in the business. Folks like Felicia Day, Jimmy Fallon, and Nathan Fillion frequently drop by and prove that Hardwick is one of the best interviewers on the planet.  If you do end up listening, I guarantee that you’ll have a laugh and learn something too.  The nerdist podcast isn’t incredibly old, but has managed to spit out a whopping 91 podcasts. What makes nerdist podcast so damn enjoyable? Comedy! While a ton of other podcasts focus of “serious business“, the nerdist is all about laughing and having fun.  Obviously other people agree with me, as it was just announced this week that the nerdist podcast will soon be on the BBC TV network. Did I mention that their intro is by Nerd Appropriate alumni Anamanaguchi?

2. G4TV’s  Feedback –  I’ve been watching Adam Sessler review games for over a decade, and its always interesting to see what the guy has to say next.  One thing you can’t deny is Adam’s love of all things “video game”.  Even after doing thousands of reviews, Adam is still incredibly passionate about video games and the growing industry.  After spending so many years in the proverbial “trenches” I feel as though video games are truly part of Adam Sessler, and without them he might wither away… sort of like Samson after someone cut his magical golden hair.  Adam Sessler will probably play and review games until the day he dies.  Because of this unparalled passion, Feedback often has a lot of awesome insight into the gaming industry.  Adam and the rest of the G4 staff pull no punches and frequently brutalize games when they’re garbage… It’s actually pretty refreshing.  I do have to admit that I miss having Abbie Heppe on the podcast, but it’s still damn good!

3. Giant Bombcast - Unruly, loud, crude, and awesome.  Giant Bomb sets the bar incredibly high for video game journalists everywhere.  It’s not that they’re the most articulate and genius reporters on the planet, it’s simply that the men of Giant Bomb are REAL and know their stuff.  Together, Bombcast has more cumulative video game knowledge than the rest of us could ever hope to obtain… and they’re not jerks about it.  The Giant Bombcast is typically over two hours in length which makes it a veritable marathon of nerdery.

4. The Sword and Laser – Nerd Appropriate alumni Veronica Belmont loves books. The Sword and Laser is an awesome podcast for fans of science fiction and fantasy literature. While I haven’t read the majority of the books Veronica and Tom like to talk about, I really enjoy the banter and chemistry that the duo share.  The Sword and Laser is currently on their 63rd episode which means that this dynamic duo have managed to read a whole lot of books.  Veronica is a huge supporter of the nerd community, so we in turn totally support her.

5. Weekend Confirmed – The CNN of Gaming podcasts.  These guys take gaming incredibly seriously and their attention to detail and production value is really staggering.  Honestly one of their microphones probably costs more than our entire setup.  Hosts Garnett Lee and Jeff Cannata are down to Earth and enjoyable to listen to.  They bring in a wide variety of guests from within the industry and have a real gift for getting people to open up and be themselves on the air.  Weekend Confirmed is a new addition to my podcast rotation and I can’t wait to see what else these guys have to teach me.

Honorable mention – Rated NA Podcast – I’m proud of what we do here at NA. Sure, our production value isn’t the best and we typically talk over each other (and crunch loudly on ice and chips), but we do our best. Currently on episode 25, we’re having a blast creating new content and talking to people we find interesting and entertaining.  Our pod cast focuses on everything “nerdy” from television and movies, to video game news and literature.  We have no intention of quitting, just growing and becoming more nerdy than ever before.

Thanks!

A few folks sent this video my way and I felt compelled to share it.  I really love when people pay homage to the one game that everyone is still a bit shy to admit they play, Dungeons and Dragons.  A bit of a confession…I’ve been playing DnD off and on since I was in middle school, and still think it’s the best game a person can play with a close group of friends. When I was about seven years old I traded my neighbor some Garbage Pail Kids for his monster manual and ended up using it as a coloring book… I’ve been hooked ever since.  Anyway, enough nerd nostalgia… So what is this video and how was it made? Well according to the interwebs it took them “One week planning, ten hours shooting, two weeks of? editing.” Hats off to the folks at Broken Record Films for their hard work, we hope to see more from them soon. Check it out, and leave them some comments and love on their YouTube Channel.

Press Release:

“Workaholics” Comedy Central’s new show really finds it’s groove in this week’s episode “Office Campout”. The new episodes airs Wednesday, April 20^th at 10:30PM.

OFFICE CAMPOUT:

The guys decide to crash at the office for a little “office camp out” while their house is fumigated, but their camp out is threatened when two burglars break into the office.

ADAM DEVINE

Adam Devine started his career in stand-up comedy after graduating high school in Omaha, Nebraska.   After two short years in the business, Devine was asked to perform in the “New Faces” show at the Montreal Comedy Festival.  Shortly after the festival, he was cast opposite Jon Heder and Diane Keaton in the Warner Bros. movie, “Mama’s Boy.”  He appeared on COMEDY CENTRAL’s “Live at Gotham” and also appeared on TBS’ “Frank TV” and ABC’s “Better Off Ted.”  He can currently be seen as a recurring guest-star on ABC’s “Samantha Who?”  Devine acts, writes and produces all of Mail Order Comedy’s material.

ANDERS HOLM

Anders Holm grew up in Evanston, Illinois and graduated from the University of Wisconsin - Madison.  After college, he moved to Los Angeles to pursue writing where he performed and wrote sketch comedy for Second City LA and Upright Citizens Brigade.  Holm has toured the country as part of the National Lampoon Lemmings.  His writing credits include the writers’ assistant on Fox’s “Bones,” and the head writer’s assistant on HBO’s “Real Time with Bill Maher.”  Holm’s acts, writes and produces all of Mail Order Comedy’s material.

BLAKE ANDERSON

Blake Anderson grew up in Northern California where he performed improv and sketch comedy.  He moved to Los Angeles where he studied at The Groundlings and Upright Citizens Brigade and toured the country as part of the National Lampoon Lemmings.  Anderson has been seen in commercials for Snickers and McDonald’s as well as on MyspaceTV’s hidden camera show, “Special Delivery,” where he was a fan favorite with one of his videos earning more than one million hits.  He acts, writes and produces all of Mail Order Comedy’s material.

KYLE NEWACHECK

Kyle Newacheck grew up in Northern California and graduated from The Los Angeles Film School with a degree in editing.  He worked in many facets of the industry, but his preference for comedy prevailed.  Newacheck is a director, editor, producer and writer who worked for Myspace TV, National Lampoon and Super Delux.  He, along with Adam Devine, Anders Holm and Blake Anderson, created Mail Order Comedy.  Newacheck currently directs, edits and produces all of Mail Order Comedy’s material.  He is currently editing a feature length film that is directed by Shira Piven and executive produced by Adam McKay and Will Ferrell.  He also produced his first album using Mail Order Comedy’s alter egos, “The Wizards” and taught at LA Film School.

A source thought to be “close to the issue” may have uncovered the reason for the delay, “the iPhone 5 just had too many new features for a single generation release”. Rumors are starting to swirl that product engineers and marketing professionals at Apple are frantically working to remove features from the current revision of the iPhone 5 in order to meet the “bare minimum improvement that will still create a consumer sale.”

iPhone5: too many features?

A FRAGILE BALANCE

Industry insiders note that simply redesigning the bezel and making the unit 3nm thinner might not be enough to convince people to trade in their dusty-old antiquated iPhone 4′s for the shiny new version. “You’d have to at least shave off another 2nm and make it .25 oz lighter if I’m going to spend another $200 after trading in my old phone and breaking my contract,” says one consumer in cargo shorts, mandals, an Indiana Jones style fedora, and a Hawaiian shirt.

The new iPhone was rumored to be embedded with front and rear facing night-vision 10x optical zoom cameras, a cancer eradication ray, full-body nano-shielding, and a kick-stand for watching HD movies. The source also noted that, “with so many flawless feature integrations, there would be no room for improvement for the iPhone 6, we’ve got to keep the feature improvements as incremental as possible.”

LOST AGAIN

Photos of a prototype iPhone 5 were leaked after a junior engineer lost the device while riding the Tennessee Tornado at Dollywood theme park just outside of Pigeon Forge. “I forgot that when the restraining bar goes over your shoulders that you go upside down.”

Spokesmen currently cannot be reached for comment on the issue.

Analysts project that, if approved by the FCC and FDA, AT&Tacos will become single largest “Mexican Fast Food & Wireless” corporation in the US. The proposed deal stipulates that Taco Bell Corp must provide AT&T with 9 billion dollars worth of burrito filling, should the deal be rejected by the FDA, roughly equating to 47.2 metric tons of “beef”, cheese product, and refried beans. “This acquisition totally makes sense because AT&T used to be one of the Bells and Taco Bell IS a Bell,” Senior GlobalCorp Holdings International analyst Rodney Jenkins said.

Top lawmakers have praised the move. “I am confident that this merger will strengthen our nations ailing job market. Clearly, I believe anyone trained to work at Taco Bell could easily transition to a customer service role meeting the current quality of service provided by the no. 2 carrier in the US” says Tom Mooresmith (R-WV).

BENEFIT TO THE CONSUMER?

A senior VP at Taco Bell Corp also described the added benefit to the consumer “by having the ability to enjoy low-grade quality pseudo-Mexican food while shopping for wireless and tablet services. ” Shares of both AT&T and Taco Bell Corp rose 2% on the news of potential Taco Bell/KFC/AT&T/Pizza Hut/Long John Silver/A&W Hot Dog restaurants as a result of the merger.

“We will also introduce a new Tiered Tacos feature to our current wireless plans that will allow consumers to enjoy various combinations of tortillas filled cheese, beans, or meat based on a monthly consumption-based plan.” It is not yet known if AT&Tacos will engage in the practice of Nacho Throttling, although senior executives defend the practice by stating that, “the top 5% of nacho consumers are responsible for 50% of taco consumption, those customers will be offered complimentary Cinnamon Twists for their trouble.”

Consumers are clearly divided on the news of the merger. “I’m not sure I can eat a burrito without spilling sauce on my iPhone. And furthermore, what will happen to the cost…” Unfortunately, the call was cut off before reports could obtain the remainder of the statement and name of the caller.

ATTENTION TURNS TOWARD SPRINT

“We really thought our current logo lended itself well to the shape of a Nacho.” It is unknown whether the no. 3 wireless carrier will seek a similar acquisition. A spokesman for the company recently stated, “Burger King is at the top of the list… no… I’m just talking about myself. I really like those French Toast Sticks.”

STALLONE PLEASED

“I always knew we were right about the future.” The comment was made with respect to the 1993 film Demolition Man which depicts a future in which Taco Bell wins the restaurant wars and moves into upscale dining. Reporters quickly pointed out that this statement was only “kinda accurate” in that Taco Bell is moving into the wireless space and not fine dining. Representatives for Mr. Stallone or Ms. Bullock could not be reached for a reply. Mr. Snipes is currently serving a multi-year prison sentence for tax evasion.

A government sub-committee for the merger is slated to reach an approval decision by April 1, 2012.

Like a train gaining momentum, one of our favorite Greendale CC students is growing up and getting some high profile roles. Variety reported the following… not that we’re paying attention or anything.

Alison Brie is joining Judd Apatow’s “Five-Year Engagement” for Universal and will portray the younger sister to Emily Blunt’s character.
“Five-Year Engagement” charts the ups and downs of the relationship between the couple, portrayed by Blunt and Jason Segel. Apatow and Rodney Rothman are producing with Nicholas Stoller directing from a screenplay he co-wrote with Segal.

Brie told Variety that she’s a major fan of Stoller and Segel’s work in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall,” which Apatow produced.

“It really is one of my favorite films ever,” she added. “I’ve watched it at least 20 times.”

It’s also the first time that Brie will be working with a British accent. “I’ve worked on accents when I was studying at Cal Arts and in Scotland and enjoy that kind of transformation,” she added.

Brie said she’s been told that production will start around the end of April.

Brie’s been one of the town’s most active actresses, playing Annie Edison in “Community” on NBC and Trudy Campbell in AMC’s “Mad Men.” She’s a lead in the forthcoming “Scream 4,” out April 15.

Brie’s represented by UTA, Vital Management Group and Bloom Hergott Diemer Rosenthal Laviolette & Feldman

Team Unicorn is back with another fun video just in time for Valentine’s day. Enjoy their ad for the new DC super hero dating service, Super Harmony. Keep up the good work ladies.

thanks goes to @mgersting on twitter for sharing this.

I am what you might call a comedy nerd. I love comedy and standup, and I’m a sucker for a sitcom. Arguably the greatest sitcom of all time is now on sale on Amazon for a measly $84.49. I have not pulled the trigger on this yet, mostly due to an impending move and all the lovely expenses that go along with it.

Also, while I’m on the topic, if you are a Seinfeld fan, you should hop on tumblr and follow Daily Seinfeld. It gives me a smile every day when I get to work.

Augh screw it, it’s an all Seinfeld post. If you have not, for some unearthly reason, watched Comedian yet. You absolutely must. It is a great look into a how a comedian works, what he does, and how he got to where he is. I’ll tell you, it’s not through sitting on his ass. He writes and writes endlessly. Constantly progressing through his bits and tweaking them until perfect. There are a bunch of appearances from other NY comics and it is just a fantastic documentary. So there you go, do it, buy these things and make yourself happy.